Journals37
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Reasons for Hiatus
2 min read
Okay, there are lots of reasons I've stopped posting on DeviantArt. I have nothing wrong with the website, but there are good reasons.
My paint system, Sumo Paint, stopped working on my computer when we had to completely wipe it. Even though it worked before through the disc you receive when you buy a bamboo tablet, I really think it was the fact that it couldn't run with the new Mac updates. So, I'm no longer able to digitally color my drawings anymore.
I've been hand drawing, tracing and coloring for about a year now. It's actually very interesting. It's not fixable and perfect like the computer, but it has a very real charm.
Also, I didn't want to be posting the pieces I would be using in portfolios for applying to colleges in case something happened where they saw my work online and assumed I stole it. I still worry that they'll see my old drawings of the same characters and assume that this isn't my account and that they aren't my original characters. So, that's another reason why nothing new has reached you guys.
I don't check here often anymore. But being here helped me so much as an artist: keeping track of my work, watching myself progress, learning and inspiring myself. But I'm ready to start a new chapter of my life. I've discovered that i'de rather be a man than a girl; Im a transgender man. and I'll hopefully be starting testosterone very soon. Later in life I'll have top surgery, and I'll become the person I feel that I am on the inside.
So I want to say thank you to anyone who has been with me since the beginning, or even just supported me. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know that because of this, I was able to discover the one thing I feel I was truly meant to do in this world.
My paint system, Sumo Paint, stopped working on my computer when we had to completely wipe it. Even though it worked before through the disc you receive when you buy a bamboo tablet, I really think it was the fact that it couldn't run with the new Mac updates. So, I'm no longer able to digitally color my drawings anymore.
I've been hand drawing, tracing and coloring for about a year now. It's actually very interesting. It's not fixable and perfect like the computer, but it has a very real charm.
Also, I didn't want to be posting the pieces I would be using in portfolios for applying to colleges in case something happened where they saw my work online and assumed I stole it. I still worry that they'll see my old drawings of the same characters and assume that this isn't my account and that they aren't my original characters. So, that's another reason why nothing new has reached you guys.
I don't check here often anymore. But being here helped me so much as an artist: keeping track of my work, watching myself progress, learning and inspiring myself. But I'm ready to start a new chapter of my life. I've discovered that i'de rather be a man than a girl; Im a transgender man. and I'll hopefully be starting testosterone very soon. Later in life I'll have top surgery, and I'll become the person I feel that I am on the inside.
So I want to say thank you to anyone who has been with me since the beginning, or even just supported me. I don't know what the future will bring, but I know that because of this, I was able to discover the one thing I feel I was truly meant to do in this world.
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Commissions (+ PayPal)
1 min read
Okay, i've been part-time job hunting for a little while, but I'm too young for anything to stick, so I'm hoping that this will work, because its the one thing i want to do with my life. So if you can, please commission me. Anything helps, i just need to start earning my own money. I would LOVE to make you something, and I'm hoping that you can spare anything. Im sorry i can't charge very cheap prices in points, but i've got to make something for myself. Even if i try to make you small things for a dollar each and a lot of them, anything that works.
Thank You in advance.
Thank You in advance.
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Early Thank You? *EDIT*
1 min read
Hey everyone! My 4th year anniversary here on deviantART is coming up real soon! ***May 16th!****
and just this morning or yesterday i reached 29,000 pageviews! Thank you all so much!!
Im sorry i haven't really been too avid about uploading and updating, school is almost out and really im losing patience. BRING ON THE SUMMER!!
But it's really because we are being kept very busy in my art class, painting after painting. Really i have no many, i didn't even think of posting them to dA until just right now DX
But i can do that!!
We are still being assigned presentations and essays in my classes. UGH. But don't worry, this summer will be a blast with hopefully some great work from me!! I really needed that break, it let me freshen up and be able to come back with some energized talent.
I can't wait until the 16th. Thank you for the 4 happiest years of my life guys. THANK YOU!!
and just this morning or yesterday i reached 29,000 pageviews! Thank you all so much!!
Im sorry i haven't really been too avid about uploading and updating, school is almost out and really im losing patience. BRING ON THE SUMMER!!
But it's really because we are being kept very busy in my art class, painting after painting. Really i have no many, i didn't even think of posting them to dA until just right now DX
But i can do that!!
We are still being assigned presentations and essays in my classes. UGH. But don't worry, this summer will be a blast with hopefully some great work from me!! I really needed that break, it let me freshen up and be able to come back with some energized talent.
I can't wait until the 16th. Thank you for the 4 happiest years of my life guys. THANK YOU!!
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Chapter 1
9 min read
Chapter 1
I balanced all 13 folders in my arms, walking up the steps to the station. Jenny was coming out and saw me struggling, immediately heading back to the door and swinging it open. "Mornin' James...."
"Morning, thanks." I blurted and rushed through the door. I headed to my boss' office, swirving around policemen and investigators. I opened the door with my boot, making Taylor and the seven other people in the room turn towards me.
"James! What the hell is all that?" My boss Taylor spurted with big eyes.
"Dont tell me its another one of your 'speculations'...." Said Rich, rolling his eyes.
"No guys, its different this time. This isnt just a theory, this is hard proof." I took five folders out from the stack of them, opened them up and took out the girls' pictures and their family members' interrogations. "Now look at all these girls. Attractive, right?"
"James, damnit-"
"Im serious!" I shouted. "Just listen, okay?" I took out their family member's interrogation scripts and showed them the circled sections.
"We asked them all when they last heard from the missing person, and they each said, 'she said she was going to the beach, and i havent heard from her since. All of them! And guess what, the other 8 girls' families said the SAME thing!"
"James, the beach is a mile from our station! Everybody goes to the beach!" Taylor fumed.
"But so many other cases are because they were leaving town! I have a good theory going that-"
Rich slammed his hands on the table. "James, christ, give it up!" He stared at me, along with the rest of the team.
"No! Im doing more to look for these girls than anybody is!! If you wont care about them then i will by myself!" I screamed back, not faltering for a second.
Taylor sighed. "James........go home."
"Sir, please-"
"Go home. We'll send you your paycheck on Friday."
"....no.....Taylor plea-"
"Leave the files here, well put them away. We'll pack up your desk and drop it off at your house. Go home and get yourself some help."
My chest tightened. I should have known that this would be my last straw. Nobody in this entire district puts their heart and soul into their work like i do. I took in a slow breath and lets the papers slide out of my fingers.
"Right. Good day." I gathered up my shattered soul and made my way out of the building. The walk home isnt long, but today its never felt longer. The same trees, sandy sidewalks and night lights that used to be relaxing and free now seemed intimidating and depressing. I could almost hear the wind crying for me. But i hadnt lost it all. I stepped up to my apartment building and made my way to the elevator. Right as i was about to step in i heard her.
"James!! Hey!"
I turned around, my heart already racing. "Lisa, hi. How are you?" My voice wasnt as perky as usual, and she could tell.
"Good. But you dont seem so good. Are you sick?"
I didnt know what to say. "Um....no...."
Lisa smiled at me and stepped into the elevator with me. "How about i come over and make you a martini? Hmm?"
I couldnt help but smile. "Sure, ide like that." If only she knew how much i thought about her. Shed probably just laugh.
Lisa nudged my shoulder. "Great." We stood side by side, myself trying to stay standing as she just seemed to be quietly thinking. The doors opened and we both stepped out onto my floor, heading to my door. I took out my keys and turned the lock, opening the door. Trying to keep the mood up, i bowed my head and swept my hand towards the apartment. "please, come in madam~"
Lisa chuckled. "Why thank you sir!" She stormed in and started rumaging through my liquor cabinet. I smiled and left her to her experiments, entering my office.
I may have lost my job, but im not dumb. I opened my drawer and pulled out all the folders of copies i had made of the girls' information. I smiled a little. All i lost was a rolling income. I havent lost any of the info for these girls. I just dont know if i can do it without my team. Before i could think too deep Lisa whistled. "Alright, the drinks are done! Cmon in!"
I closed the door to my office and walked to the kitchen. "Whats the flavor today?"
"Raspberry! I cant help it, its my favorite." She smiled big, and i smiled with her. I picked up one and took a sip. "Oh wow thats nice. Great job." I gestured to the couch. "Lets go sit." Lisa nodded and scooped up her fancy glass, prancing to the couch. As she sat i sat beside her. I set down my glass and put my elbows on my knees, hands folded. Lisa saw the mood change in my face and set down her glass too, ready for whatever it is im going to say.
"....i lost my job today."
Lisa looked away for a moment. "I guess they really cant understand that you care so much for these people."
My heartbeat picked up. How does she know me so well...
"I kinda knew it would be today....i had that feeling. But i dont know if i can do it without my team. Even if they dont totally agree all of the time, they were always there to help me."
Lisa turned back to me and put her hand on my arm. We locked eyes. In this moment i was the desperate and vulnerable woman that you could call, on-the-rebound. But Lisa just smiled. "Youve got me. If they dont help you, ill help you look into things. Ill be your little tech-savvy partner." She gave a bigger smile, childish and sweet. My cheeks followed suit with hers. I looked into her turquoise eyes.
"Thank you Lisa. I know im a dreamer, but i can count on you to at least keep me from flying away."
Lisa gave a tiny wink. "So.....what was your speculation this time?"
I smiled. "Come with me." I got up and headed to my office, Lisa following right behind.
As i stepped inside i turned on the light, and Lisa came in with me, seeing the piles of paper copies on the desk.
"Wow....how did you get all that?"
"I made copies before i could....get fired. You never know." I gave a small smile.
Lisa smiled back and sat down. "Well, this looks like itll be convincing."
I sat down next to her and pulled the pile closer, skillfully going through the papers and finding what i need to show her. Finally i got them all together and layed the pictures of the girls on the desk in front of her, moving the giant pile to the side for more room.
"Now these girls, their all pretty right?"
Lisa pondered. "Yeah..." She pointed to one. "But this girl looks like a drag queen."
I smiled. "Shes a dancer at a nightspot. All of these girls are between the ages of 19 and 26. But they have more than that in common of course." I layed out the interrogations of the girls' families on top of the coordinating girl, pointing to the circled part. "Each time we asked, 'when was the last time you saw them', the one who had seen her most recently always said, 'she told me she was heading to the beach, and i havent seen her since.'"
Lisa looked at me. "Well...the beach is-"
"I know that, Lisa! But we dont get it that often, surprizingly. Its when their leaving town that they go missing." I sat down and started looking at the girls photos and the dates they were delcared missing. Slowly i stood up and gathered the girls photos, laying them on the ground in order of missing dates. The longer i looked at them the more i became sure.
"Its starting to look like a.....'who should be my girlfriend' for dummies list...."
Lisa got up and looked with me. "What?"
I pointed to the very first girl. "If i was somebody who had never dated, i guess i would pick that first girl. She doesnt look really intimidating, but shes pretty. And from her families' accounts shes shy but sweet."
Slowly i ran my eyes over the girls one by one. "After the dancer, they all just seem to be normal girls, no extremes of really quiet or really pretty, just....nice looking. So he got tired of picking the extremes......" I scratched my head, running my fingernails down to my neck, rubbing the kink in the back of it.
Lisa continued to stare at me. "What?!"
I shrugged. "Thats what it looks like! I think any guy would kind of agree, if he wasn't off his rocker..." I sighed. "But why would this be the case....?"
Lisa thought with me. "Maybe this guy kidnaps the girls, thinking he can convince them to be his girlfriend or something."
I looked at her. "Okay.....but what happens after that? Why are they missing?"
Lisa's eyes drop a little. "Well, if hes resorted to kidnapping......theres a pretty good chance......"
I hung my head. I couldnt think about that.
"We'll just have to see. But how will i find them?"
Lisa looked at me. "Thats your job. Im just here to be your tech savvy." She smiled a little, then started to yawn, checking her watch. "Whoa, 7:20? I dont wanna miss my show!" She grabbed me and kissed my cheeck. "Bye James!" She zoomed out the door, leaving me a blushing mess. That girl...
I gathered up the papers on the floor and set them on the desk, taking out a paper and a pen, writing and speculating until i drifted off.
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New Book Idea??
2 min read
I have an idea building in my head to start writing a story with Deka...... but i want to know what you guys think.
I haven't finished writing my first ever book idea which is with Seven and D3 my two brother characters, but i know how its going to go so don't worry. One day it should be done. Its easy enough to continue.
My idea with my new story is we follow a missing person investigator and he's discovering new information about 14 women that had disappeared within the past 8 years. Each lived in this same city, each told to be beautiful, and with at least one close relative they went missing after saying they were going to the beach. So he tries to convince his team that theres something to this, a sea-side murderer, a lurking shark, something. So with other efforts and an undying curiosity he explores the seaside coast of the city and ends up finding.....you know who.
I wanna write about this pretty bad. It'll be boring at first but the tension will be awesome.
Anybody support it??
I haven't finished writing my first ever book idea which is with Seven and D3 my two brother characters, but i know how its going to go so don't worry. One day it should be done. Its easy enough to continue.
My idea with my new story is we follow a missing person investigator and he's discovering new information about 14 women that had disappeared within the past 8 years. Each lived in this same city, each told to be beautiful, and with at least one close relative they went missing after saying they were going to the beach. So he tries to convince his team that theres something to this, a sea-side murderer, a lurking shark, something. So with other efforts and an undying curiosity he explores the seaside coast of the city and ends up finding.....you know who.
I wanna write about this pretty bad. It'll be boring at first but the tension will be awesome.
Anybody support it??
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